What is Imago?

Imagopartner from Hannah Z  
„Imagopartner“ from Hannah Z.

Our “Imago” (Latin for picture) is a composite image of all the positive and negative traits of our childhood primary caregivers. It is the image we create of others, based on our early interpersonal experiences. This picture is engraved deep in our unconscious mind. It becomes the “blueprint” for whom we seek to love as adults. Our “Imago Match,” because he or she is willing to engage with us emotionally, is someone, who seems “so familiar,” and, at least at the beginning, might appear to be our true “soul-mate.” In truth, many of us have not learned to express our feelings or our needs constructively or to feel safe enough to make ourselves vulnerable - the basis for closeness and intimacy. Many of us lack role models who taught us how to articulate our needs, how to constructively solve conflicts, or how to create a loving atmosphere in our home.
Instead, we tend to be disappointed when our partner fails to recognize our needs without having been told what these are. Secretly, we expect a true “soul mate” to know, what makes us happy. This disappointment often leads to futile power struggles or resignation, rejection, and withdrawal. Passion is lost and isolation and loneliness follow. Common relationship “exits” are taken by means of working too much, becoming over-involved with children, through various addictions such as drinking, eating, shopping etc. or even affairs, divorce, illness, or premature death.
Unconsciously we repeat recurring family patterns of relating. Awareness about the existence of these patterns is often not enough – Imago Relationship Therapy provides you with the tools you need to affect change.
“Only in relationship can you know yourself, not in abstraction and certainly not in isolation." Krishnamurti
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